关于Bonkura的英语小短文

flyfly

我们这个星期学了外研社版初二下英语的module 9，主题就是英雄，我们老师让我们写写心目中的英雄，于是理所当然的想到了Bonkura
                                                      My hero
     The hero in my heart is Bonkura,he was born in Japan.He is the champion of the Spinning pen World Cup .No one is better than him.He invented many tricks and combos of spinning pen.But he died of heart disease in 2007 when he was only 21 years old.Because he was busy in let more people know spinning pen.But he is the hero in every psers' mind.
  Q# ^- F) H* s/ |5 k& I   有什么写错的地方尽管喷，毕竟我才初二英语水平，好多单词都查来的，也不知道用得对不对~~~

flyfly

我也不知道..........

Olii

: H8 E6 z0 G/ I* h
penspinning，in letting，Because那句后面要再加半句，第二句不属实
+ b2 e! H3 l2 I6 p' o2 i  K再挑个骨头。。第一句要么把逗号改成句号，要么在后半句前加个and。。

montiorx

Because he was busy in let more people know spinning pen
怎么觉得这句怪怪的

zbzjxs

可以翻译中文吗？、

Corpse

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" v) F/ |. S4 A1 K% T% v0 _3 W; W& MBecause he was busy in let more people know spinning pen
; o7 S4 I! |; f- r0 {/ w应该改为Because he was busy in letting more people know spinning pen
. h0 n( {3 c/ o' a6 F% H4 T而且, 根据句意来猜测, 意思应该是bonkura他尽力让更多的人知道转笔 , 而不是忙于让更多的人知道转笔 ..
所以最好改为
Because he devoted himself in letting more people know spinning pen
1 W+ c( {+ c( ?
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刚刚想了一下, 发现原来用 " 让更多的人知道转笔" 这样的表达方式很怪..
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2 [( R3 A% L) f/ w& ?  n3 R  t6 _0 `% j个人推荐 :  he devoted himself in publicizing pen spinning

林梦夕

然后老师会问你一句
1 ~( {3 L% a& Q6 s+ D+ Fwhat are you talking about?

踏雪翔天

我心中的英雄是bonkura,他出生于日本.他是转笔世界杯的冠军.没有人比他更强.他发明了许多转笔的tricks.combos.但他因心脏病死于2007,那时候他年仅21岁.因为他忙于让更多的人了解转笔这项运动.但他是所有转笔者心目中的英雄.
一点意见; There is a hero in my heart,he was born in Japan,he is the champion of the Pen Spinning World Cup and no one is better than him in the field of pen spinning.His name is bonkura,who invented many tricks and combos and made great contributions to the development of pen spinning.Unfortunately,because he was busy in making(be busy in doing.这是语法,另外一句句子里用来because就不能有but) more people get to know pen spinning,he died of heart disease in 2007 when he was only 21 years old.However,he is the hero in every psers' mind forever.

NateRiver

be busy in doing
) x1 |1 V2 E( ]sb devote to doing

丨POP灬无常

写点关于他的学业的吧，不然老师会以为他不务正业，最好能用幻灯片做，配上图片

flyfly

看来我的英语水平还需要改进.........